SWITCHBOARD

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over the phone, go right ahead! The Transmitter will answer the phone as soon as she's available. Leaving messages is impossible, given how old these phones are, but you should be able to reach her at almost all hours.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[transmittable]

[ A small burst of static later, and the Transmitter answers him. ]

It depends on the favor, Creative. If it's something one of the other Patients can do, you'll be out of luck.

[dangerousfool]

No, no, it's something you can do. It's about that trial room you have.

[There's noise of rustling of paper on Wheatley's end]

I made a surprise for everyone in case someone dies and we're in there again. It's a big banner, it says 'LET'S NOT GET HORRIBLY EXECUTED TODAY'. Morale boosting! It'll be like having a cheerleader in the room.

[Wheatley leaves the banner aside]

But I can't be seen hanging that in front of everyone, it should be a surprise. I was thinking you could put it on the wall, so it's ready. I'd do it myself, but I can't find that room.

What do you say, can you help me with this?

[transmittable]

The trial r...

[ The Transmitter trails off and listens to him, and just. Oh. Oh wow, this sure is a request. She's quiet through his spiel, and- does the static sound like crickets? It somehow does, actually! Talented. ]

...You made...a banner... Oh. Uh. Wow. That sure is...creative.

[ You know what. ]

How about this? If someone dies this week? Leave that on your bed, and we will take care of it. Okay?

[dangerousfool]

I'll do that! I hope nobody dies but I'll leave it there if it happens. I owe you one!

[Wheatley moves to hang and cut the call, but he remembers something]

Wait wait wait, there was something else! I heard you're doing this because you want company, so how about we clone everybody in here? Wesker and I can do it, and that'll let the rest of us leave. It's a fair offer, right?

[transmittable]

Wha...?

[ You are two-for-two on confusing your mastermind, Wheatley, good job. ]

Clones... They- no, no. No, guys, shut up. I don't think clones would work...? No, uh, sorry, we have to decline.

[dangerousfool]

Oh. Okay. The offer will be available if you ever change your mind! Thank you!

[Now he did hang, not even paying much attention by how he had confused her beyond noticing it. Sorry for everything...again, Transmitter]