SWITCHBOARD

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over the phone, go right ahead! The Transmitter will answer the phone as soon as she's available. Leaving messages is impossible, given how old these phones are, but you should be able to reach her at almost all hours.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[transmittable]

You call me, I never call you, eh. Yeah sounds like a good deal.

[arebetter]

I mean, I'm not exactly in here very often anyway. But... wait, do you have cameras all over in here?

[transmittable]

Uhh, I can see everything in there, yeah...

[arebetter]

... including the bathroom?

[transmittable]

What? Ew- no, no! I've got no interest in any of that!

[arebetter]

Good. Keep it that way, and I promise not to have any insidious rebel meetings in it. This is dangerously close to reality tv as it is.

[transmittable]

...It's not like...we're the only ones watching all this.

[arebetter]

... Pardon?

[transmittable]

...We're the only people watching this. Did it- oh. Oh it sounded like I said- no, it's just us over here.

[arebetter]

Good, because if you actually were doing this for a youtube stream or twitch thing or something I was going to hang up right now.

[transmittable]

And that would be completely legit.

[arebetter]

You, me, and a bunch of raspy... ghosts or whatever, that I can deal with. Or at least I might as well deal with, because this is life for me now. Hooray.

Are the... audio and video distorted on your end too?

[transmittable]

Hmm. ...No, they're not. I can see and hear everything just fine.

[arebetter]

Cool. I'll allow you a request sometime, if you want, since you've been so helpful and all. Don't tell anyone, though, and don't go too shoegazey on me.

[transmittable]

Like- for something you'd play? Ohh... Uh, can I think on that? That'd be...pretty cool.

[arebetter]

Yeah. I'll just... sit down at the piano in the foyer and play. No big. Take your time.

Oh, uh... no Closing Time. That's the other condition. I'm okay with Piano Man, technically, but I don't exactly take you for a Joel girl.

[transmittable]

'Course. Yeah, no Closing Time.

...I can't really let you know when, but...guess you'll just have to call back again sometime?

[arebetter]

Sure thing. You're one of the... better people to talk to, I guess. And not just because you actually know what an electric guitar is, oh my God these damn culture gaps.

[transmittable]

[ A surprised little laugh, but apparently she's still feeling that...whatever this morning was, because it doesn't last long. ]

Not everyone can be from a place with TV and iPhones.

[arebetter]

Which I get, I do, and I'm as happy to have a giant Jim Henson puppet dad running around here as anyone, but I swear to God the number of people who have told me magic is real to my face is way too high.

[transmittable]

I mean, for them, it is real.

[arebetter]

Apparently! I wouldn't know, magic is for movies about British boys and shows about horrible horse things my bandmates watch for their girlfriends when they think I'm not looking, at least where I'm from.

[transmittable]

Well... Most people kinda have this reaction when they encounter something like this for the first time? So... Reassurance?

[arebetter]

Yeah, yeah. I'll get used to it.

[ A sigh. ]

Here I am, the mighty Pizzazz, unloading my problems on some teenager over a rotary phone. I can feel Roxy and Jetta mocking me from here. Just an aura of smugness and the smell of bagels.

[transmittable]

It could be worse.

Could be over telegram.