SWITCHBOARD

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over the phone, go right ahead! The Transmitter will answer the phone as soon as she's available. Leaving messages is impossible, given how old these phones are, but you should be able to reach her at almost all hours.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[transmittable]

[ There's an answer, immediately, and thankfully the feedback and static, it's all the same. ...There's no voice yet, but...he can hear a familiar breath catch, as if someone tried to speak and couldn't.

... ]

H- hi.

[cadmiums]

[ Sometimes the best and worst decisions are ones you make clouded by sleep. He sighs with relief, and there's some rustling as he curls into his blankets more.]

It's you, I'm glad. [...] Are you OK?

[transmittable]

Yeah, a day without...all that's helped. ...Are you okay?

[cadmiums]

Mmm, yeah. [ He sounds decently sure of that, the revolving door of people checking on him certainly helped.] ...can you tell me what happened?

[transmittable]

...They decided they wanted to...introduce themselves. The Risen. They can do that, use my...everything to do that. They thought...since I'd been so friendly, if I delivered the...incentive, it wouldn't carry the same weight.

Of course, they, uh. Didn't let me know in advance, but. Now that I know it could happen, it won't be as bad on my end, next time.

[cadmiums]

...I see. [ It doesn't sound angry, or judgmental just sad.]

I have one more question if that's alright. Have you...been honest with me? You said that if I could hold your hand you would like that.. Did you really mean it?

[transmittable]

Of course... If I could, I'd... I want that so much. I like you.

[cadmiums]

I like you too.

[ He takes a deep breath.]

There are a lot of things I don't know and that I don't understand. All I know is what I feel and what I feel is... I like talking to you, and I like going out on dates with you, even if maybe I shouldn't.

I'm afraid of what the future may bring but...I want to try to live in the present.

[transmittable]

...Even with...everything they said to you?

[ She sounds unsure; scared. ]

[cadmiums]

...yeah.

I can't change how I feel, but if I could...I wouldn't. [ If the capacity exists within him to be angry, he hasn't found it. He understands, or part of him tells him that he does, even if he doesn't know why. It may not be a good thing, but he's come to terms with that in the past day. For now he can live in the present, as it masks the fear that the future will bring.]

[transmittable]

[ ... ]

I'm...really glad. I'm sorry for- being glad, but I am. I should want to...something else, I don't know, but- I don't.

[ Apparently the Risen didn't choose her as their spokesperson for her speaking skills, because she's stammering through this. ]

[cadmiums]

We can not know together. [ A beat.] Can we keep doing what we were doing before?

[transmittable]

If you're okay with it, then- then I am.

[cadmiums]

Yeah, I'd like that. [ For the first time in the conversation he relaxes, with a soft sigh.]

Ahh I feel like I should be nervous or-- I'm not sure, but I just feel happy.

[transmittable]

Me too. I haven't felt something like this in- ...uh. In awhile.

...It wasn't, by the way. Your fault. It wasn't your fault at all.

[cadmiums]

...you're sure?

[transmittable]

Positive. What happened happened because of what I did, how I acted. Not just- with you, with everyone. And...just how I am. You know, it was probably gonna happen even if I did meet their "standards," or whatever? They were bored. Then...they were excited.

It wasn't because...you were nice to me. Are nice to me. Or that you took me on dates.

[cadmiums]

Thank you. I don't want to ever hurt you, or make things worse for you... that's why I was afraid to talk to you again. I wasn't mad, I was just...sad.

[transmittable]

I kinda figured that...eventually. After- uh, well- I sorta had to keep monitoring when I could? And like, it was me or it was them and I figured you'd probably like that worse, so...I heard a few things, yesterday.

I'm glad you did call, though. I'm really glad.

[cadmiums]

...Oh. [ That is a little embarrassing even though he should have figured that would happen.] I like you a lot more than I like them.

So you did ask Na-chan to make me smile?

[transmittable]

[ It's embarrassing on both sides now. ]

Y-yeah... Of course she told you. I knew you were probably down from all of that, and...well, I don't think I like seeing you down. So.

[cadmiums]

[ Well he is smiling now, so there's that!]

Thank you, that makes me really happy. I want to see you smile one day too. [ Actually, that reminds him of something.] Do you remember when you asked me where I would want to go with you outside of here?

[transmittable]

Uhh, yeah! Do you have another answer? Another idea?

[cadmiums]

Let's go to the Taj Mahal!

[transmittable]

[ A moment and then, she laughs from surprise. ]

The- the Taj Mahal...? What's the sudden appeal