SWITCHBOARD

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over the phone, go right ahead! The Transmitter will answer the phone as soon as she's available. Leaving messages is impossible, given how old these phones are, but you should be able to reach her at almost all hours.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[imaginex]

[...]

I don't know. But I don't think the shadow was... malicious, if that makes sense. It didn't kill because it was evil. Maybe it would've left Senpai alone.

... I know it's terrible for thinking that, after it killed those people.

[transmittable]

What kind of people were they? Do you know?

cw: vague sexual harassment? Because frickin FSN

[imaginex]

[The pause here is longer. They've hit on something Sakura doesn't want to admit]

They... In the dream, I mean...

They were following the shadow, calling to it. They, um. Wanted to spend time with it.



... They followed it to the park, and wouldn't leave it alone.

thank you, friend, it is appreciated!

[transmittable]

...Oh.

[ Well, that's...just lovely, isn't it? ]

It sounds- I'm not...the most moral person around. That's obvious with...all of this. But it sounds to me like...the shadow was just trying to protect itself...and it went a little overboard.

[ A little, but- ]

Maybe your senpai could've saved those guys, but...would they try and do that again?

[imaginex]

I don't know.

I'd never seen those men until then.

[her voice sounding distant, thoughtful] But... I don't think they would've stopped.

[And thus, it was almost like watching a shoe squash a bug]

[transmittable]

[ ... ]

...Then you know? I don't think...I can blame the shadow...for doing what it had to.

[imaginex]

[...]

So... you don't blame it either...

[And from that comes the sick comfort in knowing that she isn't alone.]

Y'know, even though I was scared in the dream... I didn't feel that way when I woke up. I just felt sad for some reason.

[transmittable]

Yeah? Why do you think that is? Have any idea?

[imaginex]

[A nod of her he-- oh right, the Transmitter can't see it]

I guess I felt sorry for the shadow.

[...]

Thank you, Transmitter-san. I do feel a little better.

[transmittable]

I'm glad to hear it. ...No one should be sitting with thoughts like these, alone.

[imaginex]

... You're not speaking from experience, are you?

[transmittable]

...Not those exact ones, no.

[imaginex]

No, no... I'd hope you wouldn't also be dreaming about shadows.

I meant, um...

...

How are you feeling?

[transmittable]

You're talking after...all that today?

Uhh... Tired...but more physically and mentally than emotionally, like, compared to last time? So, I guess that's an improvement.

[imaginex]

I see.

Will this keep happening to you? I assume incentives will likely be brought up every week, at the rate we're going.

[transmittable]

Yes.

They like it too much to stop, just like I like...ha, amiably talking with you guys too much to.

[imaginex]

...

Could this end up killing you somehow?

[transmittable]

Oh, naw, nothing like that. It'll just...never be very pleasant.

[imaginex]

If you don't mind me asking, what does it feel like?

[transmittable]

While it's happening, or...after...?

[imaginex]

... I suppose during.

[transmittable]

[ ... ]

Like... I'm underwater. I'm underwater, and I can taste it, the...the salt in my mouth, filling my lungs. Pricking my eyes. Except it's like daggers, and they're hot. Like something's squeezing on my head and screaming in my ears. And I can't move, and I can't...breathe, but I don't have to breathe. No matter how much it feels like I'm drowning, I won't die.

It keeps saying, give up, give in. Let it all go. Drift out to sea. But I can't choose anything, I'm just...trapped. Even if I wanted to...

[ The Transmitter trails off, and she takes a deep breath. ]

It's...something like that.

[imaginex]

[The comparison is different - as Sakura expected - but there's a reason she asked, and she feels her stomach give a lurch]

It sounds terrifying.

[transmittable]

[ She lets out a humorless laugh. ]

Yeah, it is. It...used to be nicer, but...well, not anymore. Some mix of location and...awareness.

[imaginex]

I'm a little surprised anything about that could be considered nice.

[A pause]

But it... doesn't sound like... [Another pause, trying to find the words]

Like pain is the point to it.