SWITCHBOARD

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over the phone, go right ahead! The Transmitter will answer the phone as soon as she's available. Leaving messages is impossible, given how old these phones are, but you should be able to reach her at almost all hours.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[transmittable]

[ She sighs, but there's a light air to it. ]

Alright, alright, so I don't find that the best way to look at people, is that what you wanted to hear?

[nachetanya]

[ she nods and there's a clear smile in her voice as she responds: ]

Yes, because now I can say for sure I understand you a little bit better.

[transmittable]

And that's what all of this is about, right? I won't tell you my goals, so you have to find other ways to read me. That's why you asked who I found sympathetic, and why you ask about the things I like.

Am I hot? Cold? A little warm?

[nachetanya]

Warm, at least.

[ She laughs a little, shaking her head ]

If you're always watching, you have to know that I've both been keeping notes on our conversations and that I've shared little of what we've discussed together, since you asked me not to. Certainly very little of the specifics. I can't claim I have the most altruistic reasons, but then you have Ryoji for that...

But I want to understand you.

[transmittable]

Good to know. Reassuring to know, actually. I don't think I really have to ask why, I mean- it doesn't take a rocket scientist? You're within every right.

But while I can't have you understand me or my goals, I can still enjoy talking with you.

[nachetanya]

Are you comfortable with me?

[ She's been stopping and starting a lot less lately. ]

[transmittable]

Mmmm, not in so many words. Not comfortable like...uh, others- but comfortable enough to carry on a conversation. It's 'cause I know more of what to expect.

Asking me to think hard on you, it helped.

[nachetanya]

[ There's a long pause here. Thinking hard on her... helped.

... She hesitates longer than usual before: ]

... Knowing all that, do you find any part of me admirable?

[ Though her tone is as neutral as ever, it's - well, it's naked in that she would ask it at all that she's hoping for validation. Maybe she really is tired. ]

[transmittable]

[ ... ]

You're devoted to something that will, thought difficult, save many people, in the long run.

I think that's admirable.

[nachetanya]

[ . . . She's touched by that, more than even she wants to admit. She - ]

Thank you.

[transmittable]

You asked. ...But you're welcome.

[nachetanya]

[ She exhales. This mixture is probably good enough now. She... She laughs, and centers herself again ]

Would it be nosy if I asked if you made up with Ryoji? You can be nosy to me in return.

[transmittable]

It would be VERY nosy, in fact, but we did. ...Thanks for talking to him. Even though there was nothing I could do in return, you still- so. You know. Thanks.

[nachetanya]

I said you can be nosy right back!

[ She laughs though, shaking her head ]

I'm glad, though. I would still like something in return, but it was fun to talk more with him. I might see if he wants to host some game this week.

[transmittable]

That sounds like something he'd be good at. Have a game night, make everyone play that...whatever you were making.

[ So she knows a little about that... ]

In terms of being a nosy little...rabbit I guess, how's it going with you and Assimilated?

[nachetanya]

[ She wonders how much the Transmitter can read her intentions with Tsubasa. She smiles a little to herself, nodding to confirm that yes, she thinks the game night sounds nice. ]

Honestly, I was thinking that I would ask her if I could stay the night with her tonight. If I'm asking you to comfort me with validation, that's all the more reason to, probably.

[transmittable]

That sounds like a good idea. Take comfort where you can get it, and I'm sure you'd- like, if it's a choice between me and someone more on your level- someone you spend more time with- that's a better choice.

[nachetanya]

In general, though, I'm beginning to actually fall for her.

[ She says this without much hesitation, but her voice is softer than normal, as if it's a fact she isn't confident in stating. ]

[transmittable]

[ The Transmitter's voice is equally soft, almost lost beneath the feedback. ]

She seems like a wonderful girl, it's not surprising. Hiw does she feel?

[nachetanya]

[ Interesting. The feedback's actually getting a little bothersome, but- ]

I... believe it's not too much of a stretch to say that she's falling for me too. I know for certain she will accept my feelings, but I do worry that there's little that she won't accept, if that makes sense.

ah, typos...

[transmittable]

It does, somewhat...but why don't you explain it?

Hey man I've done a few we're a little even now

[nachetanya]

[ She again wonders... the Transmitter would know more about the inner workings and nature of Tsubasa than even she would, right? and if she can monitor everything, could she deduce Nachetanya's plans too...? all of that goes unsaid, though, instead: ]

She has accepted everything I've done so far. Sometimes with complaint and sometimes with protest, but not once has she refused anything, even when I've been very unreasonable with our "game." I do believe she feels something for me... but how certain can I be that she isn't simply accepting my feelings and allowing for them?

[transmittable]

How can you be sure she's feeling and experiencing and not just...assimilating? Is that it?

[nachetanya]

Yes.

[ She frowns. ]

... I know Tsubasa had a goal, to see the world. I know she is her own person, she has a past and preferences in some department - the look in her eyes when we speak about intellectual things is gorgeous. But when she says she has no dislikes when it comes to people she would be attracted to, or things like that-

It's a worry I believe you can understand why I'd have.

[transmittable]

How can one person not...have a preference, right? How can you know she's being- truthful, with you, or omitting things.

Have you been honest with her?