TEXT

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over text, go right ahead! The Transmitter will respond to texts messages as soon as she's available. You will likely get a text back very quickly.

Your tablet device will only reach the Transmitter. There is no option to send texts to anyone else, instead it will connect to automatically to her phone.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[transmittable]

i wouldn't call your feelings silly. i wouldn't call anyone's feelings like that silly.

[nachetanya]

I didn't mean to talk about this with you, I'm sorry.

[transmittable]

it's fine. you need to talk about things too don't you?

and that's what i'm here for. i can't encourage or discourage you one way or another, but i can listen. or read i guess. today's a rough day, but it's a rough day for everyone.

[nachetanya]

[ . . . ]

I won't deny that I'm excited to do my part in the play at the trial.

[transmittable]

in the normal trials? or

the other kind?

[nachetanya]

In the one I'll have to deceive the others in.

That'll be a new experience for me, to do it on that stage with people I've known this long and with these stakes I can't escape from.

My heart's already racing at the idea.

[ Admittedly, with a little bit of - okay a fair bit of fear too, but. ]

[transmittable]

[ ... ]

all i'd be able to do is dread.

[nachetanya]

Perhaps that's my own failing, going back to emotions.

[transmittable]

what do you mean?

[nachetanya]

I'm not ignorant enough not to know my reaction to it's a little bit odd.

I'm just glad it means I won't cry. That would ruin it.

[transmittable]

are you sure about that? sometimes emotions take you by surprise.

[nachetanya]

That would be a silly way for me to die! Giving it away like that!

[transmittable]

i don't think that would be silly either.

[nachetanya]

[ Her laughing trails off. ]

See now, I must disagree. I can try once it's all over. Doing it during the show would be as disaster, that sort of role couldn't possibly pin it on someone else convincingly.

[transmittable]

who knows? people cry about a lot of things or for a lot of reasons. frustration. fear. the loss of a loved one.

[nachetanya]

Oh, some crying, certainly.

But I hope I can control it. Being a mess won't allow me to steer it as effectively.

[transmittable]

yeah. that'd be difficult.


i hope talking about this is a release for you.

Getting someone upset by Nachetanya has to be a victory im proud of myself

[nachetanya]

I believe so. The excitement and the guilt and everything else remain, but it is nice to give some voice to it. It's probably why I've kept up the diary at this point.

I felt so tired after the trial.

I couldn't help but sympathize with Gant, even if he was a "piece of work."

you've been killing me slowly

[transmittable]

in what way?

im so glad

[nachetanya]

We both wanted a peaceful world.

[transmittable]

[ A small delay. ]

okay. i get that.

[nachetanya]

I know you were upset.

Thank you for hearing me out.

[transmittable]

it's what i'm here for

[ ... ]

no, it's what friends are for, nachetanya.

1/2

[nachetanya]

[ She drops the ipad thing on the desk, her eyes wide. She inhales, for once. Her eyes feel hot. It's been a long day, a long day. She reaffirmed that her plan could work the night before, only to have to do that trial today. She had to run devils advocate against Rin, and then Gant's motivations, though not as pure as hers, weren't something he could rightfully fault.

... And now all of this.

She inhales, exhales. and runs her hand over her face ]

[nachetanya]

[ A good thirty seconds pass before she picks the ipad thing back up ]

I wish I knew your real name.

I know that's not possible.