TEXT

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over text, go right ahead! The Transmitter will respond to texts messages as soon as she's available. You will likely get a text back very quickly.

Your tablet device will only reach the Transmitter. There is no option to send texts to anyone else, instead it will connect to automatically to her phone.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[enhancements]

Duly noted and appreciated, then.

[transmittable]

are you planning on acting?

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...I'm not sure. I don't know what the best course of action to take right now is.

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you learned something that changed your circumstances, didn't you?

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I remembered something that changed things significantly, yes.

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can you tell me what that is?

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[...]

I've failed in what I was trying to accomplish. Assuming that you've been truthful with me in the conversations we've had, there's no other conclusion to be drawn.

I have nothing to live for, if that's the case.

I understand that that's a kneejerk reaction, and to be honest it disgusts me - there's always something that's worth staying alive for, even if only for its sake. Opportunities and possibilities will present themselves eventually, I'm fully aware of that much.

But the thought remains, that I have nothing to live for, and I'm not certain what to do about it just yet. I know that I should be patient, for the abovementioned reasons. But that isn't what I want to do.

It comes down to a matter of control, I suppose.

[transmittable]

[ You know. This is fine. ]

i can't dissuade you, but i can offer my opinion. would you be interested in that?

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[...]

I would be.

[transmittable]

hold on a little longer. if only to spite everyone who thinks poorly of you or who ever did. talk to the people you find kind of interesting and see if that gets you somewhere.

if you want to act, i can't stop you. but i know you wouldn't want to do something like that unplanned, not after how long you've held on. so dig down in there, grab that spite, and wave it like a flag.

[enhancements]

That sounds like the sort of advice that one gives through experience.

Is it?

[transmittable]

[ ... ]

in part, yes.

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It reminds me a bit of someone I know. The interesting person I've told you about before, back where I came from.

[transmittable]

care to share a little more about that interesting person?

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[Ah, that's... You know what, sure. Why not.]

Is there anything in particular you would like to know?

[transmittable]

i guess where your thoughts start to get complicated. that's the word you used, complicated.

[enhancements]

[Hm.]

She used to be one of my employees. She worked security for the Hive beneath Raccoon City; she never knew its true purpose, of course, but she was there when it was primarily in use as a research lab. I didn't know her well back then. We spoke a few times and she seemed decent enough. Respectful, if a bit distant. But I tend to be the distant sort myself, so that suited both of us well enough.

I'm not certain when or how things changed, exactly. Those memories seem to be lost to me right now. There's still a five-year gap that I can't seem to recall outside of very vague, unrelated things that tie into what I remember happening well after that point, about four years beyond it. But it seems she's dedicated at least a large portion of her time and energy to killing me. On my part, she isn't exactly an afterthought - she's caused a lot of problems for me over the years - but she's never been my highest priority in terms of targets and goals, either.

Where it starts becoming complicated is the fact that despite her threat level and the fact that she's been a terrible inconvenience for me, I've had several opportunities to kill her and have taken none of them.

I suppose it's because she makes my life interesting - not to say that I don't enjoy my work and it doesn't keep me busy, because I do and it does. But I dislike the idea of killing her all the same. She's a challenge for me in a way that no one else is, and as much as I want her gone, I want to keep fighting her more. Her suffering is beautiful to me, and I like being the cause of it, but I don't think I want to break her because then she wouldn't be interesting to me anymore.

[transmittable]

[ ...Huh. Well that went places at the end (obligatory "holy shit" here) but. That's kind of expected by now. ]

like she's your "worthy opponent" or something like that? this one isn't from experience, for the record, it's something from movies and stuff. it's all antagonistic but there's something beneath the surface.

like things wouldn't be the same without her and you don't want to work through something like that.

[enhancements]

It's something like that, yes.

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what was going on with her in the end? the last thing you remember.

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We were working together on a mission against someone that's objectively worse than I am. We killed the mark, but that left her incapacitated, as I'd expected it would.

I could have killed her then, but I didn't. I returned to the Hive and reported her dead to the rest of the Corporation.

She's currently trying to stop me before our final plans are complete. I'm fairly sure she succeeds in this endeavor, given everything about how this conversation started, but I don't know how, nor do I know how all of that ends for me personally.

[transmittable]

[ ... ]

i really do wish your memories hadn't suffered damage. i hope you can at least remember that, to receive some kind of answer.

[enhancements]

From what I understand of this situation, it's possible that it ends with me dead.

[transmittable]

[ You know how sometimes you get a text and you don't want to not answer but at the same time you really don't want to answer so you just kind of type and delete and type and delete and type and delete? ...Yeah, that's this moment. ]

in a way that would take? you've come back from it so many times.

[enhancements]

It's just a guess on my part, but you raise a valid point. The person I've been telling you about shot me in the face once, in a way that people like me shouldn't come back from - it happened quickly, and I don't tend to remember many details about what happens when I die, but from what I recall she shoved a sawed-off shotgun in my mouth and pulled the trigger.

[...That incident is actually probably even nastier than whatever charming mental images that description may have dragged up, given the state of his face at the time. He will leave out the details regarding the state of his goddamn face.]

So it's safe to say that destroying the brain doesn't work on me, to say nothing of the times that my body must have been nearly completely destroyed. To be blunt, I'm not sure what's capable of killing me in a way that will take.