TEXT

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over text, go right ahead! The Transmitter will respond to texts messages as soon as she's available. You will likely get a text back very quickly.

Your tablet device will only reach the Transmitter. There is no option to send texts to anyone else, instead it will connect to automatically to her phone.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[transmittable]

alright. i figured you would say that.

why do you think you're so focused on a person's ambition as an indicator of who they are? do you have an answer?

[nachetanya]

Because that's the truth of the matter. An ambition, a goal like that is something they can't forget.

[transmittable]

but more important to knowing them than how they act with others? their loved ones? their personality?

i don't mean to pick at your philosophy. it's just something this conversation's made me think about.

[nachetanya]

That goal that they have in their heart influences all of those. It's who they truly are. How someone acts can change depending on the situation and the needs of the moment or the company.

Actually, Tsubasa, as she usually is, is a good indicator of the problem in looking at actions.

As for their loved ones, their personality... People chose their loved ones to some extent, and their personality is something else which is often inherent, if you can even know it. But personality is something that's still subject to that feeling in their heart.

I don't think someone can truly know who they are until they feel something so strongly they can't let it go.

[transmittable]

wouldn't you say people's feelings about things also make them who they are? tsubasa's also a bit of a special case. possessed demon cat and all.

[nachetanya]

Feelings can cloud them from their sincere selves, sometimes.

Goldov - from my memories - can't say for sure who he is because his everything is so devoted to me.

[transmittable]

maybe who he is can be called "protective" or "dedicated."

[nachetanya]

He's definitely dedicated. But even if that's the case, he said that he wanted to serve me when he was ten. He's never done anything else but that since...

Ideally, I want him to find out what he wants and needs for himself, without his heart wavering based on my whims.

[transmittable]

that's fair. to find who he is separate from you, that is important.

but i think those feelings are important to who he is too. just in a different way.

[nachetanya]

I don't deny that. Simply, I believe it's not the most important thing about him - or at least it shouldn't be.

...

I think I might love Tsubasa, or at least I could. It's a silly thing, as compared to my intentions.

[transmittable]

i wouldn't call your feelings silly. i wouldn't call anyone's feelings like that silly.

[nachetanya]

I didn't mean to talk about this with you, I'm sorry.

[transmittable]

it's fine. you need to talk about things too don't you?

and that's what i'm here for. i can't encourage or discourage you one way or another, but i can listen. or read i guess. today's a rough day, but it's a rough day for everyone.

[nachetanya]

[ . . . ]

I won't deny that I'm excited to do my part in the play at the trial.

[transmittable]

in the normal trials? or

the other kind?

[nachetanya]

In the one I'll have to deceive the others in.

That'll be a new experience for me, to do it on that stage with people I've known this long and with these stakes I can't escape from.

My heart's already racing at the idea.

[ Admittedly, with a little bit of - okay a fair bit of fear too, but. ]

[transmittable]

[ ... ]

all i'd be able to do is dread.

[nachetanya]

Perhaps that's my own failing, going back to emotions.

[transmittable]

what do you mean?

[nachetanya]

I'm not ignorant enough not to know my reaction to it's a little bit odd.

I'm just glad it means I won't cry. That would ruin it.

[transmittable]

are you sure about that? sometimes emotions take you by surprise.

[nachetanya]

That would be a silly way for me to die! Giving it away like that!

[transmittable]

i don't think that would be silly either.

[nachetanya]

[ Her laughing trails off. ]

See now, I must disagree. I can try once it's all over. Doing it during the show would be as disaster, that sort of role couldn't possibly pin it on someone else convincingly.

[transmittable]

who knows? people cry about a lot of things or for a lot of reasons. frustration. fear. the loss of a loved one.