SWITCHBOARD

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over the phone, go right ahead! The Transmitter will answer the phone as soon as she's available. Leaving messages is impossible, given how old these phones are, but you should be able to reach her at almost all hours.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[nachetanya]

It isn't for any moral reason.

[ She has to know that, of course ]

It just seems too short-sighted, stuck in the past. You can't call that a goal or ambition. It's hardly even a duty, because you aren't serving anyone else but yourself and your memories of the fallen.

[transmittable]

Aren't memories important? Couldn't it be considered some kind of honor, or justice?

[nachetanya]

[ She shakes her head, which makes the phone slip - she hurriedly shift her head to catch the phone again. Oops. ]

If it can be called justice, then it's not as effective a justice as creating a better world or even a better life for yourself. For example, if me or my soldiers had acted with revenge against my father for that civil war her started, he would have died and the soldiers loyal to him would have been removed. That would have been a catastrophe for Piena. It was far more...

Prudent?

It was far better to keep him as a figurehead until he dies. He will eventually anyway, and the peaceful transfer of the throne to me is as better justice for the chaos he caused.

[transmittable]

That is true. But not every situation is as such. If you were in Diligent's, for example. You don't know all the details and I won't explain what I know more, but... What would you do?

If someone murdered everyone you cared about, and it was a coincidence that you didn't join them, can you surely say you wouldn't harbor any feelings of resentment or revenge?

[nachetanya]

I can't. [ . . . ] In fact, I'm certain I would feel a strong sense of resentment. But I would hope I could move past that, and find a new home to situate myself in. By the sound of it, he did.

[transmittable]

But those feelings never left. They still stayed in him. I don't say this to belittle or...insult his new life, but sometimes it's not easy to let go. It's admirable when you can, but...understandable when you can't.

That, I think, is where those feelings come from.

[nachetanya]

[ Mmm. ]

I still can't respect that. But you knew I would think that way.

[ . . . ]

I agree that they're all sympathetic, though. Every one of them showed compassion.

[transmittable]

That I did.

...Was I right, about Unwavering for you? Or did you have more there?

[nachetanya]

No, you're correct. I didn't know more about Felicia, so I can't say anything about her goals or hopes. But she was kind and was killed for it.

[transmittable]

I'm noticing... A lot about a person has to do with their goals for you, doesn't it? What you think of them, how you interact.

[nachetanya]

I believe that what goals, dreams, ambitions that someone holds in their heart can tell you more about someone than nearly anything else.

[transmittable]

More than the interactions you have with them? More than the actions they take to achieve those dreams?

[nachetanya]

I did say almost. [ she shakes her head and: ] To use me as an example, I know that the actions I've taken will besmirch my name, either to my "allies" or to the world at large. But everything I've done has been done in the name of my ambition, to bring peace to the world. It's that which explains me the most.

[ ... ] Obviously, you should be aware of people's actions, and change how you respond to them accordingly. But if you know what goals people have and cannot let go of, it becomes easier to predict them.

[transmittable]

Ahhh, I get it now. You do like to know how to maneuver in all, uh- all situations, right? It's important to you, not to judge them, but to figure out how best to...react around them.

[nachetanya]

Yes.

[ ... she laughs a little at this though, shaking her head ]

Do you think that makes me sound sinister?

[transmittable]

In one perspective. Thinking so much about people like that's- well, it's no Sunday in the park, but some kinds of lives could lead to it...probably.

You sound like someone who likes to be in control, honestly.

[nachetanya]

[ She... giggles at that, actually. ]

You sound like you're dancing around insulting me, Misty! You're free to, you know!

[transmittable]

[ She sighs, but there's a light air to it. ]

Alright, alright, so I don't find that the best way to look at people, is that what you wanted to hear?

[nachetanya]

[ she nods and there's a clear smile in her voice as she responds: ]

Yes, because now I can say for sure I understand you a little bit better.

[transmittable]

And that's what all of this is about, right? I won't tell you my goals, so you have to find other ways to read me. That's why you asked who I found sympathetic, and why you ask about the things I like.

Am I hot? Cold? A little warm?

[nachetanya]

Warm, at least.

[ She laughs a little, shaking her head ]

If you're always watching, you have to know that I've both been keeping notes on our conversations and that I've shared little of what we've discussed together, since you asked me not to. Certainly very little of the specifics. I can't claim I have the most altruistic reasons, but then you have Ryoji for that...

But I want to understand you.

[transmittable]

Good to know. Reassuring to know, actually. I don't think I really have to ask why, I mean- it doesn't take a rocket scientist? You're within every right.

But while I can't have you understand me or my goals, I can still enjoy talking with you.

[nachetanya]

Are you comfortable with me?

[ She's been stopping and starting a lot less lately. ]

[transmittable]

Mmmm, not in so many words. Not comfortable like...uh, others- but comfortable enough to carry on a conversation. It's 'cause I know more of what to expect.

Asking me to think hard on you, it helped.

[nachetanya]

[ There's a long pause here. Thinking hard on her... helped.

... She hesitates longer than usual before: ]

... Knowing all that, do you find any part of me admirable?

[ Though her tone is as neutral as ever, it's - well, it's naked in that she would ask it at all that she's hoping for validation. Maybe she really is tired. ]