TEXT

[transmittable]

If you'd like to ask the Transmitter something over text, go right ahead! The Transmitter will respond to texts messages as soon as she's available. You will likely get a text back very quickly.

Your tablet device will only reach the Transmitter. There is no option to send texts to anyone else, instead it will connect to automatically to her phone.

Comments are screened for privacy; all Patients are offered confidentiality, didn't you know?

Comments

[nachetanya]

Well, you did chose to be part of a collective.

[transmittable]

my choices LEAD ME to this collective. i didn't "choose" in a traditional sense.

[nachetanya]

Do you regret it?

[transmittable]

[ There's...a longer delay. ]

i don't know. i don't regret what i did it for. but i wish i wasn't here.

[nachetanya]

Did you join to achieve your goals?

[transmittable]

no. far from it.

[nachetanya]

I'm so curious about that!

But alright, instead, I'll tell you one of my plots with Dozzu? Or a memory from childhood, whichever you prefer.

[transmittable]

it's something i don't really like to talk about.

tell me about your childhood. that sounds nice.

[nachetanya]

Alright.

You know that I'm the princess of Piena, and until the civil war happened, I grew up in Piena's palace, surrounded by maids and guards. Though most of my childhood, the relationship between my mother and father was actually pretty good, though it worsened by the time my older brother died.

Though, naturally, it's not as if a princess has many friends. Or indeed any friends that you can call an "equal" - I played with my older brother, tormented my maids, and I tried to spend as much time as I could with my mother and father. The whole time seems much simpler now, but I think it was lonely sometimes.

It really all changed when I met Dozzu. Like I said, I was introduced to him very young, though I wasn't accepted as one of his "comrades" until a few years later. But he's... Ah, I just realized, you do remember his form, right? He looks something like a dog, and later in life he would actually impersonate my dog, Porta. In any case, when I was young, I really thought it was cute how such a wise and experienced voice came out of the mouth of something so cute.

So I wanted to play with him *all* the time.

[transmittable]

[ Actually, it takes the Transmitter some time to read this over. Five, seven minutes or so. Definitely more time than is warranted. ]

sorry i had something to attend to.

would you say outside family dozzu was your first friend then? it's good that you had him in your life.

[nachetanya]

[ It's a little strange to not get a reply promptly. Nachetanya waits for a long while, but actually gets up to write some things in her diary before she comes back. And when she sees it ]

I hope it wasn't too serious. Our lives are in your hands to some extent.

I would though, after a sense. Now that we're comrades it feels strange to call him a friend.

[transmittable]

it was nothing like that, don't worry.

why can't he be both? your comrade and friend.

[nachetanya]

Oh dear, I hope it wasn't an emergency of love, then!

It's a matter of degree. "friend" seems smaller.

[transmittable]

not that either.

that's interesting to see. less importance?

[nachetanya]

Oh, a friend problem? A body problem?

In a sense, yes. A comrades, we share the same ambition and are fighting together for it. I can be friends with you or even with Rin or Sakura or others I don't see eye to eye with in such a perfect way.

[transmittable]

just something to take care of. it's fine.

it comes back to ambition for you, then. i shouldn't be surprised, really. since it's something so important to you, of course it would have a special ranking.

[nachetanya]

Ooooh, you won't tell me.

Of course though. I've devoted my life to that ambition that I share with Dozzu. It doesn't matter if I die, or whatever damage I do to my reputation. It's something that I refuse to give up, even for one moment.

I consider Goldov my friend, perhaps even more important than that. But because we aren't comrades, there at many things I can't tell him.

[transmittable]

because it's nothing you need to worry about.

that makes sense. i come from a different perspective i suppose. my goal is a different kind of ambition. it's more personal, so i don't think i could really have "comrades" in the sense that you do.

[nachetanya]

That's alright. I think that sort of goal is beautiful as well - in fact, the ambition I've admired the most here is Nozomi's.

[transmittable]

really? why is that?

[nachetanya]

It's an ambition that she can clearly state, clearly believe in, and has taken all possible steps to achieve. It shows on her body.

[transmittable]

so it's the amount of dedication she has to it, then.

[nachetanya]

As well as her certainty in it.

[transmittable]

so it doesn't matter what a person's ambition is, as long as they're certain and dedicated, and it's something where they aren't living in the past.

do i understand your qualifications right?

[nachetanya]

Precisely! Ambitions speak to who someone is, are forward facing, and help people grow. Something they can build up who they are as a person to achieve.

Of course, a grander goal is more impressive...

But Nozomi's clear in what she wants, and aims with all her heart to achieve it. I think that's admirable.